What frustrates you in them is teaching you something about you.
The thing that gets under your skin about this person — the distance, the inconsistency, the thing they won't say plainly — isn't only about them. It's showing you exactly where your own old wound sits, the one that flinches before the sentence is even finished.
Relationships are the clearest mirror most people ever stand in front of, precisely because they won't let you look away. A stranger's silence doesn't cost you anything. This person's silence does — which is exactly why it's showing you something real. The charge you feel is information, not just pain.
When they do the thing that hurts, what does the hurt actually say underneath it — 'I'm not enough,' 'I can't trust this,' something older than this relationship?
Next time it stings, pause before reacting and ask silently: is this about right now, or is this an old wound this moment just happened to touch?
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